Sample Questions: “Sweetheart, could it be that you are taking pleasure in getting your brother in trouble?” “What are you hoping will happen to your brother as a result of your tattling?”īenefit: By teaching the tattler to determine his own motives, you are teaching him how to “think through” his actions, which will enhance his ability to make good decisions.Įvery so often, a child might have a good motive for tattling. Use questions that will cause the tattler to take his attention off what someone else has done wrong and instead think about his own wrong motives. Parents can teach the tattler how to discern matters of his own heart by asking thought-provoking questions. Help the tattler understand his motivation.
Parents can tame the tattletale and cultivate peace and unity among siblings by following these four steps: Siblings who are committed to getting one another in trouble will wedge a thorn of distrust in their relationship, disrupting the harmony of the whole family.
Tattling is typically motivated by one sibling taking pleasure in the other sibling’s suffering, which ultimately creates an atmosphere of opposition and conflict. While these are reasonable arguments for not correcting the tattler, they overlook the damaging effects that tattling has on sibling relationships. “After all,” reasons one parent, “if my child is doing something he ought not do, why does it matter how I find out?”Īnother parent says, “If one of my children has been wronged by his sibling, I would rather he come tell me than to fight back.” While some parents are frustrated with their inability to control the problem, others try to rationalize their decision to avoid correction. Parents often pardon rather than correct the tattler simply because they do not know how to deal with the issue. Unfortunately, it is overlooked rather than dealt with properly in many homes. Tattling reigns as one of the most common behavior problems among siblings. “Christopher’s not letting me play with the ball!” “Sarah’s calling me names!” “Tommy won’t let me in the bathroom!” Sound familiar?
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